Song of the day (LH): There'll you be - Faith Hill
Song of the day (VW): Like a rolling stone - Bob Dylan
Let the sunshine! Wow summer had semi-returned! A late breakfast sat out on the terrace in the sunshine, amazing! Plus the sunshine could start to work on lightening my hair up! Come on, please!!! It was so sunny that I realised I needed to cover my neck, as the skin in this area was probably still sensitive...so a scarf was donned!
Photo no.711 - Mr Able's challenge....romansesco broccoli!
Once the sun dipped, it was fairly chilly so I decided to take a walk to 'guinea pig' island. Nature's colours are so incredible this time of the year....it's hard not to feel happy as you walk.
Photo no.712 - autumn leaves!
Photo no.713 - A new dinner favourite....this evening I tried it with lightly smoked salmon. Winner!
Even if this doesn't appeal to you, I'd really recommend roasting carrots with cumin seeds and garlic...I'm not a carrot fun but cooked like this they're amazing!
A really good day! Healing for the mind, body and soul! More days like this please....
Tuesday 28th October
Song of the day (LH): Town called malice - The Jam
Song of the day (VW): Back to life - Soul II Soul
The sun has got his hat on! This is great hair lightening weather, keep it coming!
Photo no.714 - my sun deck view!
Today I finished Radical Remissions. From talking to a few of you, there has been some 'concern' over my reaction to this book. One thing that I read today is certainly true...for a cancer patient the two scariest moments are firstly being diagnosed and the second is finishing treatment with the what if monkey clinging onto your shoulder....technically I'm lucky to be able to say that medically I should be cancer free but you know those pesky cancer cells could be lurking somewhere where a scan can't pick them up from...until they unite they can't be seen...but you know what equally I've got to focus on the fact that hopefully they were all zapped away and that there isn't anything there...but that monkey will be there for a while and at times will feel like a gorilla and others a marmoset.
Tonight's culinary offering....
Song of the day (LH): Town called malice - The Jam
Song of the day (VW): Back to life - Soul II Soul
The sun has got his hat on! This is great hair lightening weather, keep it coming!
Photo no.714 - my sun deck view!
Today I finished Radical Remissions. From talking to a few of you, there has been some 'concern' over my reaction to this book. One thing that I read today is certainly true...for a cancer patient the two scariest moments are firstly being diagnosed and the second is finishing treatment with the what if monkey clinging onto your shoulder....technically I'm lucky to be able to say that medically I should be cancer free but you know those pesky cancer cells could be lurking somewhere where a scan can't pick them up from...until they unite they can't be seen...but you know what equally I've got to focus on the fact that hopefully they were all zapped away and that there isn't anything there...but that monkey will be there for a while and at times will feel like a gorilla and others a marmoset.
Tonight's culinary offering....
Photo no.715 - risotto primavera...a VW mashup of several recipes!
Wednesday 29th October
Song of the day (LH): Sunchyme - Dario G
Song of the day (VW): Virtual Insanity - Jamiroquai
Goodbye sunshine, hello rain! Still a good day to blog away! I'm feeling more positive about the future...I've been approaching this going back to 'normal' phase with some trepidation. I don't know why, as it should be the best phase of all...I guess for me bigger questions are creeping up...what should I do with my life? Big question and something that we don't often stop to pause on...when you do...it's blimin hard! It also feels like you can't escape the cancer word...from watching Mad Men, to bus stop ads, even Boots advertise for macmillan on the side of their prescription bags the c word is everywhere!
Today I got quite cross. A guy from cancer research called to basically get me to sign up to a direct debit and offer continual support...well that was the essence of the call after he had gone through what their current research project entailed, how much money was needed to keep it going and finally how much the professional fundraising company got paid....at this point I was livid! I mentioned fairly early on in the call what I had experienced this year...so this patronising pr*ck kept referring back to how grateful I should be and how it can be even better for others if I could give £10 per month...I got to breaking point and said that if the purpose of the call was to get me to sign up then I didn't want to...and on and on he went until I basically hung up...These people are being paid, I know we all need to earn money but I was offended on many fronts...firstly, I know first hand how important the research work is so don't patronise me, secondly don't guilt me into this...thankfully I can afford his suggested contribution but many others can't and potentially will be bullied into doing something they can't afford...thirdly, I had had missed calls from this number several times over the week...I feel like I've been hounded. Anyway...rant over.
Photo no.716 - beautiful form and colour!
Song of the day (LH): Sunchyme - Dario G
Song of the day (VW): Virtual Insanity - Jamiroquai
Goodbye sunshine, hello rain! Still a good day to blog away! I'm feeling more positive about the future...I've been approaching this going back to 'normal' phase with some trepidation. I don't know why, as it should be the best phase of all...I guess for me bigger questions are creeping up...what should I do with my life? Big question and something that we don't often stop to pause on...when you do...it's blimin hard! It also feels like you can't escape the cancer word...from watching Mad Men, to bus stop ads, even Boots advertise for macmillan on the side of their prescription bags the c word is everywhere!
Today I got quite cross. A guy from cancer research called to basically get me to sign up to a direct debit and offer continual support...well that was the essence of the call after he had gone through what their current research project entailed, how much money was needed to keep it going and finally how much the professional fundraising company got paid....at this point I was livid! I mentioned fairly early on in the call what I had experienced this year...so this patronising pr*ck kept referring back to how grateful I should be and how it can be even better for others if I could give £10 per month...I got to breaking point and said that if the purpose of the call was to get me to sign up then I didn't want to...and on and on he went until I basically hung up...These people are being paid, I know we all need to earn money but I was offended on many fronts...firstly, I know first hand how important the research work is so don't patronise me, secondly don't guilt me into this...thankfully I can afford his suggested contribution but many others can't and potentially will be bullied into doing something they can't afford...thirdly, I had had missed calls from this number several times over the week...I feel like I've been hounded. Anyway...rant over.
Photo no.716 - beautiful form and colour!
Years ago, the ever wonderful Kim, gave me the Wagamama cookbook. So far there is only one thing I've made from it and it remains the case...the Wagamama house dressing...it's my favourite!!! Reflecting on the food journey, I've decided to fall into the flexitarian camp...basically making the call for some meat/ fish free days but not omitting them completely from the diet. Decision made...for now!
Photo no.717 - king prawn salad with the ultimate dressing!
I think I've mentioned and shown you the impact of the radiotherapy rays on my shoulder. For up to a week after, it can get worse....
Photo no.718 - red hot shoulder!!!
Thursday 30th October
Song of the day (LH): The boy is mine - Brandy & Monica
Song of the day (VW): Just the way you are - Billy Joel
Sleep, sleep, sleep....under 10 hours is just not enough! ; )
This afternoon I had a river walk along the Thames in Marlow...the sunset was spectaular. I find walking along the river a good place to clear the mind and enjoy the serenity of the space.
Photo no.719 - tree silhouette sunset...
Song of the day (LH): The boy is mine - Brandy & Monica
Song of the day (VW): Just the way you are - Billy Joel
Sleep, sleep, sleep....under 10 hours is just not enough! ; )
This afternoon I had a river walk along the Thames in Marlow...the sunset was spectaular. I find walking along the river a good place to clear the mind and enjoy the serenity of the space.
Photo no.719 - tree silhouette sunset...
Today was successful as I finally managed to get a blog post done...Wonderland I really do need to apologise for my commitment to you not being tip top! I guess real life has been getting in the way!
This evening, Kim and I went to Pho for some noodles! It's a small Vietnamese restaurant chain and is well worth seeking out if you're in London. A perfect dinner! Followed by... Photo no.720 - flowering jasmine tea...so beautiful
Friday 31st October
Song of the day (LH): Hungry like the wolf - Duran Duran
Song of the day (VW): Beautiful - Snoop Dogg
Song of the day (LH): Hungry like the wolf - Duran Duran
Song of the day (VW): Beautiful - Snoop Dogg
Today has been an amazing day filled with amazing people and lots of love. I feel the most energised for a long, long time...I'm clearly a solar powered person and need others energy to kick me into motion!
The first amazing person I saw today was Gwynedd for a boob check in! You may remember post surgery this was a regular Friday activity but once the apron strings were cut I've made it solo for a while. However, I wanted to check in with her to see what she thought post radiotherapy. I'm proud to say that I was told that I had one of the best looking post radiotherapy boobs that she had seen...quite an accolade!!! ; ) We then had a chat about watch outs for the future....liver, lungs and bones are the major ones to keep an eye on. The next topic was when was I planning to go back to work. Apparently I should have taken 2-3 months off post surgery...mmn no wonder my heart wasn't fully into going back to work in September. The advise of today was to take the rest of the year off to fully heal and return to work in January. January seemed a way away but you know what, for once I'm going to follow this advice and take the time out. Gwynedd also thanked me for seeing one of her patients a few weeks ago to give pre surgery reassurance, apparently it really transformed this lady's surgical journey. : ) It was such a simple thing for me to do, so I've offered to do more in the future. One of the key words for me this year has been reassurance. So if I can help anyone else going through something similar by flashing my boob and giving a few hints and tips, then I'm very happy to do so as just a 5 minute chat can make all the difference. Time to say goodbye and have a legendary Gwynedd hug, they're the best!
Time for lunch with B! It was so lovely to catch up and have a good chat about how the last bits of treatment have gone. Interestingly B was finding radiotherapy as isolating and lonely as I had. She also said that a few others that she knew felt the same. I guess everyone assumes you're on the final hurdle so you're nearly back on track, so time to venture out on your own once more....my top piece of advice for radiotherapy is take someone with you for each session. It would make the world of difference. Still, thankfully for now that chapter is closed for me. Yay! : ) I then discussed with B about going back to work in January and it was no surprise that she endorsed Gwynedd's view...'you can be a lady of pleasure'! oh oops...leisure'! So a lady of pleasure and leisure I shall be!
Next stop was physio with Kate. It seems that the radiotherapy has really tightened up the cording so definitely more work to be done here. Though she agreed with Gwynedd's best boob vote! ; )
The final appointment of the day was my initial appointment with the genetics team. This is a bit of a mine field as the results of this can potentially affect quite a few people. Thankfully DW was with me at the appointment to take all of the information in. Essentially the reason for the appointment was to kick off some testing to see whether I carry a BRCA gene mutation. If positive, it means I would need to make decisions around the future of the my other boob and ovaries. Although early on it seemed that this might be unlikely for me, particularly as only 5% of breast cancers are genetic, I later found out that one of my maternal cousins is BRCA positive and so is her daughter. She had believed that the mutation had been passed down from her father's side (no biological link to me) but this may not be the case....Much of the appointment was spent running through the family history information that I had sent. So given the fact that I have a BRCA positive blood relation and my age being relatively young to get breast cancer, I'm a prime candidate for testing. You're probably wondering at this stage what the test involved? A simple blood test. I was asked if I wanted to consult with my mum before having the test. I didn't need to. I knew she would want me to take the test to find out. It may have implications for her, as if I'm a positive match to my cousins mutation then it automatically means my mum will be positive so may want to consider some decisions. If I don't match my cousins mutation then as both of my grandmothers died of cancer in old age, then I may well still be tested for any mutations. So we'll see. So off I went for a blood test...even though I've had countless 'sharp scratches' this year, I still don't like them. I guess does like a sharp metal object going in their arm but although I don't faint anymore it's not something I'm particularly comfortable with.
My gut is saying that the result will be negative.....so who knows! I'll find out more on 12th December when I receive my results. All I can say is that if it's positive then I'm ready for action...ie another 'boob job' and potentially the removal of my ovaries at some stage. This will sound very strange but if the result is positive then it almost gives me an answer to the why did it happen question...a negative response would be preferred though so lets wish for that!
Having your health is one of the most underrated in treasures in life. I know I took mine for granted, I didn't even think about. So if you are healthy, keep looking after yourself...it's far more precious than you may realise.
Saturday 1st November
Song of the day (LH): She's got that vibe - R Kelly
Song of the day (VW): Cheek to cheek - Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga
Song of the day (LH): She's got that vibe - R Kelly
Song of the day (VW): Cheek to cheek - Tony Bennett & Lady Gaga
Hello November! You'll be my first month since January with no treatment planned. Hurrah!!! It feels slightly strange that there are no hoops to jump through this month bar trying to ensure the pesky cancer cells remain firmly away.
Saturday lunch....
Photo no.721 - 'made up' on toast....courgette, leek and plum tomatoes on toast! Splash of balsamic vinegar...boom!
It's that time of year when we celebrate a guy, called Guy, who tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament many centuries ago. We headed to a local display with the Hamiltons, including Harrison who firmly knew where the best place to stay was... under the canopy of his buggy...
Photo no.722 - bang! ooh! bang! ooh!
Sunday 2nd November
Song of the day (LH): You & I - John Legend
Song of the day (VW): So good - Chris Malinchak
Song of the day (LH): You & I - John Legend
Song of the day (VW): So good - Chris Malinchak
Sleep, sleep, sleep...you are still very much required in abundance!!! Night sweats are still claiming some of my precious sleep time. Hopefully you'll be going soon once my body is used to the tamoxifen effects.
Sunday. Walk time. Richmond Park...beautiful.
Photo no.724 - can you spot the deer?
So you met tonight's dinner key ingredient on Monday courtesy of Mr Able's delivery...
Photo no.726 - romanesco lets go!
Photo no.727 - Monkfish with romanesco broccoli & spring onions (or scallions as our US friends call them!)
An average Sunday night dinner...I'm feeling a bit bland and so was this dish. Still there are many ingredients out there to add interest and flavour...further exploration required for feasts and life!
Love, peace, health & happiness to you all.
xxx
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