Song of the day (LH): Somewhere out there - James Ingram feat Linda Ronstadt
Song of the day (VW): My favourite game - The Cardigans
8am...doorbell! Half asleep I raced to open the bedroom door and promptly fell over, hit my eyebrow and chin on the door handle and crumpled into a ball. My left foot is still partially numb from the chemo so clearly quick movements first thing aren't the way to go. Quick check to ensure I hadn't done any damage elsewhere and I went downstairs to open the door. Thankfully I made it in time! Not the way to start the day but hey it was worth it as this was the contents!
Photo no.513 - teatime hamper from the Walkers - thanks so much! xxx
After a leisurely morning and ensuring I wasn't concussed it was time to test my granny trolley out for the first time! Let the adventure begin!
Photo no.514 - wheels of...er tartan!
It seemed to do the job, though I was thankful to my mum helping as we ended up picking up more stuff than planned. Always the way!
Today's afternoon movie was Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. Yes, it's technically a romcom but less sappy than some. A great way to relax. Photo no.515 - sunny sunflowers!
My mind had started to wander to tomorrow's appointment...pathology results. Though it was a simple case of going with the flow, these results would play a significant part in determining the next stage of treatment and more importantly future prognosis. I was feeling slightly nervous. Fingers crossed it would be good news. Tuesday 19th August
Song of the day (LH): A whiter shade of pale - Procol Harum
Song of the day (VW): Emotions - Mariah Carey
I've felt a strange sense of calm since pre surgery and this has continued. Today, however, some anxiety had built slightly as it was a big day.
The doorbell rang...this time, learning from yesterday I took a bit more time. However, there was no time to don some headwear so I opened the door head naked to the poor delivery chap! I'm assuming we won't meet again so really it's fine. Today's delivery was really exciting....cupcakes!!!
Photo no.516 - thanks to Anna, Gillian, Zoe and Helen! They were delicious!!! xxx
Photo no.517 - I'm working on it!
In the last blog entry, I mentioned the brown tape that was holding my boob in place like an iron hand....here it is.
Photo no.518 - brown tape boob!
It's so great having this so showering etc can happen as normal, rather than having to be reliant on others helping or bathing in odd positions! Having said that I had been nervous about getting the tape too wet so had been doing a combination of showering and sink washing to keep this dry but today I was going to see Fiona, half suspecting the bandages might come off, so I went for a full on shower. Bliss!
My lunch date was with Emily, as she had kindly offered to be my chauffeur that afternoon. A healthy salad was the lunch de jour! Followed by a trip up the M4 to the Marsden. Physio Kate was the first appointment. Aside from the cording having developed she was pleased with the progress I was making with the movement in my arm. To help with this she cut a V shaped piece of elastoplast and stuck to my upper arm. I'm not quite sure how this was going to help but apparently it would, so best to give anything a go!
Next stop, pathology results with Fiona. I met DW in the outpatients room and we waited...on these days appointments always seem to be overrunning but all you can do is sit and wait peacefully. On my lap were a couple ofcupcakes from this morning's delivery as there was no way I could, well really should eat all 12! We walked into the consulting room and I offered the cupcakes. Fiona whisked them out of my hand as she hadn't had any lunch! It turned out to be a absolutely brilliantly good news Tuesday....the pathology results were good. Firstly, no disease had spread into the 23 lymph nodes that were taken. This was the most important part, as this is really good news for future prognosis. It seems that my sentinel nodes did a good job and whilst 3/5 of them unfortunately got infected they hopefully stopped and pesky cancer cells getting any further. The tumour removed was bigger than the MRI had indicated, it was 24mm. There were still some cancer cells present but very low density, so Fiona was pleased with this result. As you know I had debated about whether to keep my nipple or not. Initially it had been a case of will it survive the operation and now it was what did the pathology report conclude. There had been disease close to the nipple but Fiona felt that it was safe to keep it, as she felt a good margin had been removed. So overall these three factors meant a very good news Tuesday. It was even flagged that there could be a possible debate as to whether radiotherapy was necessary or not, though given my relatively young age it was probably still likely that caution would be applied and I would still need it. The pro of no radiotherapy was no potential impact to the surgery I've had. The negative, I guess would be not ticking all the possible insurance policies available to prevent that all important recurrence. The good thing was that I would get an opinion from the multi discipline team at the Marsden and also Dr Davis, so I couldn't ask for more.
Thanking Fiona for the positive impact that her approach and opinion has had for us, she gave a pragmatic response of, there are many ways to crack an egg. Well, I'm very pleased the way this one has been cracked by a sublime chef and her team!
So concluding the meeting, we were told to go and celebrate the results! Here's how we did it....
Photo no.519 - a celebratory cookie!
I know, I know, where's the champagne?! Truthfully, we were both exhausted and just wanted to head home to relax. For me, the pathology results were the release out of a deep breath. Six months of riding the treadmill and hoping for the best had taken its toll on us and despite this being one of the best appointments within this whole event, we just wanted to sleep!
So we headed to pick up the car from DW's office to drive home. Of course, we popped in to say hello to the wonderful TJB crew!
On the way home, we decided to follow the doctor's orders and apply some celebratory element to the day! Dinner out, yes please. In the olden days (!), we would have stayed in London, today we decided to go somewhere closer to home. I'd heard good things about The Giggling Squid, so we headed to the one in Henley for some Thai food!
Photo no.520 - celebratory supper!
Reflection time kicked in when we got home. The news hadn't fully sunk in. I'm not sure when or if it will. The huge positive, was that it was good news for everyone around us who has supported us through these past months. In our own pragmatic way, for now it's the feeling of being ok. I think it's natural, given then ups and downs this year to be thinking this is great but what's next, what do I have to do, tell me and I'll do it. Coming off of the treatment treadmill is going to be just as strange as getting on it. One thing that is certain is that I'll be taking a drug called Tamoxifen for up to 10 years. Again another life insurance policy. A tablet a day to keep the cancer away!
It was interesting the possibility around no radiotherapy....I suspect it'll go ahead and to a certain degree I want it to, just like the final chemo round (that was fun right ; ) ). We'll see.
As you know, this has never been a why me story, more like a lets get this done story. So it seems, well I very much hope, that there are quite a few more chapters to come.
Wednesday 20th August
Song of the day (LH): You to me are everything - The Real Thing
Song of the day (VW): Acapella - Kelis
I love this Kelis song...turn it up loud!
Ding dong doorbell.....flower delivery man!
Photo no.521 - a bunch of joy from the ever wonderful Space Planning team at JL! Thanks so much! xxx
My lunch date/ day care was with the brilliant Felicity Pattinson-Jones! During her school hols she had endured much M25 trauma, so decided to use public transport to arrive. By car the journey from Surbiton to Maidenhead should take around 45 minutes. As the crow flies it really is quite a short journey. However, trains between these two destinations aren't so well connected, so Miss Jones came by bus, train and foot to see me, using the couple of hours to enjoy reading and relaxing rather than having road rage!!!
Photo no.522 - roses from the delightful Miss Jones!
It was wonderful to see her and have a proper catch up! We took a good long walk to Guinea Pig island and back. It's the longest walk I had done since surgery but it really seemed to wake my body up and felt good! More exercise required!
Thursday 21st August
Song of the day (LH): I wanna sex you up - Colour Me Badd
Song of the day (VW): Electric Avenue - Eddy Grant
Today's agenda....a lazy day on my own...for the early bird readers you will turn your nose up in disgust but breakfast was finally consumed at 1pm. Followed by lazing on the sofa in my pyjamas for a couple of hours. It felt like a guilty pleasure, as I've not really had too many days like this. Around 3pm my phone rang and it was my mum. My parents were downstairs....argh! I know it seems wrong to complain, as I'm lucky to have such lovely parents but I was really enjoying a day on my own. All by myself. Still I'm pretty sure my disgruntled-ness was felt. So time to hit the shower!
It's become a bit of joke that when we go to Rob and Ces' we seem to take the dinner with us. Tonight was such an evening, as I made a batch of Luca's pasta sauce to take. It's such a simple recipe but just needs time to cook and blend all the scrummy flavours together. A crowd pleaser! It was the final installment of the Honourable Woman...'who do you trust?'...a great series one definitely worth getting hold of on DVD. Ces and I have been really hooked, so it seemed appropriate to watch the final episode together.
I guess it's worth noting some of my medical status, easy to forget that I had only had surgery 10 days before. Aside 1 dose of ibuprofen and paracetamol, I had given up on stronger painkillers. As previously described in the early surgery recovery days, I experienced more discomfort than anything else. Pain only came when I had to push myself through the physio exercises. I couldn't really lift my arm above my shoulder without igniting some pain receptors. But aside from this and the numbness continuing in my foot, progress was being made. Good job VW!
Song of the day (LH): Salute - Little Mix
Song of the day (VW): Stay tonight - Eagle Eye Cherry
To combat yesterday's lazy day, I was up with the lark...well just before 7am, which as you know is early for me! The reason, I wanted Gwynedd to check out my boob before the weekend. Yes, the umbilical cord on the Friday checks would need to be cut but just not yet! I didn't really fancy taking the train, so I decided to go in the car with DW on his commute in. Despite it being an August morning, it was absolutely freezing so I decided to seek out some porridge for breakfast. Pret's porridge, it has to be said is not the best and more reminiscent of rice pudding. Still, it was good to eat something warm!
After a walk along the Kings Road, I headed up to the Marsden to see Gwynedd. I had to wait quite a while for a bit the receptionist thought she might not even be in, but sure enough she came to meet me. The bandages were still on and I had anticipated that they would remain on until the following Wednesday, when I had an official appointment with her to take them off. But...it turned out that Gwynedd had other plans. Time for the bandages to come off! What???!!! When we had come for the Fiona meeting earlier in the week, I had brought bras with me and had felt prepared for the bandages coming off. However, totally I felt completely bare and unprepared. To be honest, it was probably a good thing that they came off spontaneously as I had no time to fret or plan but still. So the brown tape was peeled off and Gwynedd said to go and look in the mirror. I don't know what to expect. I had had the familiar nipple poking through the brown tape for the past 10 days so that bit was constant but what would the rest look like...I had anticipated bruising but when I looked in the mirror, I was totally amazed! It looked absolutely fantastic, if I do say so myself!!! So much so, that one of my first reactions to Gwynedd was that the other boob would need some work on it, in the not so distant future!!! Absolutely incredible. I was overjoyed!!!
Gwynedd had also been at the MDT (multi disciplinary team) meeting, so I asked if she had noted any comments about me needing radiotherapy. She wasn't 100% sure but seemed pretty confident that the team had said to go ahead with radiotherapy. It was no surprise and had always been part of the plan so hey ho away we go! The only thing was that I needed to work hard on getting the cording in my arm into shape so that I would be able to hold the radiotherapy position. Yes m'am!
I left the Marsden that day feeling absolutely elated about my new boob. Although I was acting like it was a small child by using my arm as protection to avoid anyone bumping into it!!! Amazing! Each time we drive past the Marsden, I have positive feelings towards it, as this has given us two years back. Thank you all so much!
For whatever reason, I decided that I didn't feel like getting the train home. DW was going to be at work for quite a few hours, so instead I thought I would go and cheer Emily up. The previous day Kim and Emily's cat, Shadow, had decided it would be a good idea to jump out of a first floor window. Luckily she found him soon after the jump and went to pick him up to take him home to ensure he was ok. However, he was in shock from the fall so attacked her by scratching and biting her...so though it was good news he was ok, it was not so great for Emily's arm. I decided to head to her flat to relax for the afternoon on the sofa with her and then have DW taxi's to pick me up.
I got on a busy tube at South Ken and couldn't see any seats available. I didn't really need a seat but I was worried how to hang onto the posts without causing too much strain to my left side. This was clearly showing on my face as a lovely lady offered her seat to me. Relieved I took it and then a young guy next to me offered his seat to her. We got chatting and she mentioned that she had offered the seat as she could see that I was feeling uncomfortable. People who have not lived/ worked in London often see it as a vast unfriendly place but I've largely found it to be the opposite. Simple acts of kindness, such as this, mean a lot and give the city it's charm. It turns out she was travelling near to where I was going so we ended up chatting for the whole journey.
I picked some flowers up at Turnham Green and walked across to Chez Wright-Deadman. A great relaxing afternoon was had with a lovely lady and many cups of tea and some snoozing. It's good sometimes to relax in this way without the distractions of being at home with things you feel you should be doing. DW picked me up and we had dinner at home. It felt like autumn had kicked in as it was cold and rainy but it was cosy.
Overall a very good day....my plea was for my body to let the implant stay in its new home...please, please, please!
Saturday 23rd August
Song of the day (LH): Only girl - Rihanna
Song of the day (VW): I will survive - Gloria Gaynor
My song selection today was on the back of listening to the BBC symphony orchestra play some disco classics. The introduction to this song was that most people believe the lyrics to be about a break up, whereas the lyricist Dino Fekaris, wrote the lyrics having been fired!
http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=2451
As the weather had cleared up, Ces rang to see if we fancied going on their boat later that afternoon. I sure did! Each time we've tried over the summer, something has thwarted the plan so today we wrapped up and went!
Photo no.523 - Saturday sailing down the Thames! Cheers!
Despite being a bit chilly, it was wonderful to spend an hour or so on the river and the Hamiltons had brought some champagne so it was all the better! Thanks so much! xxx
I probably should have stuck to the flask of tea that I had planned to have on the boat as when we got home I felt absolutely shattered...but needed to wake up as Felicity and Neil were coming over for dinner! Thankfully we had planned to BBQ some steak so all I had to of was prepare the salads!
Photo no.524 - steak and salads!
The salads here are taken from Jamie's 30 minute meals. They're to go with the feta and spinach pie but I find them to be a couple of great salads that can be paired with most things. During the summer different coloured tomatoes add some interest to the tomato and basil salad. Yum!
Sunday 24th August
Song of the day (LH): Automatic - The Pointer Sisters
Song of the day (VW): Buffalo Stance - Neneh Cherry
'So don't you get fresh with me'...wise words from Miss N Cherry!
I really didn't want to get up but this morning was a yoga/meditation morning so move that lazy ass VW!!! Rachel kindly picked me up and it was nice to head there together. It turned out to be an amazing 3 hours...the first hour some Chi Gong, then an hour of yoga, followed by meditation. The aim of the meditation was to stay awake but I was so relaxed under the blankets that I know I kept dozing off into the nicest sleeps...oops! It turns out that most people did this as well. The morning was led by Davinder. I've been seeing her since March, initially for counselling but more recently for 1-2-1 yoga and meditation sessions. She's an incredibly inspirational woman who has supported me throughout some of the tougher moments. Someone who I could download my inner most thoughts to. Thank you.
Once a month Davinder is running these yoga/ meditation sessions to encourage people to take some time out for themselves. It's rare to have 3 hours when you're awake, when you speak to no one, don't use or look at electronic devise and ultimately have some reflection time. Time to allow the mind and body to connect as one. It's something I've only recently discovered and would thoroughly recommend it as a place and time to switch the mind off from all that is going on. Bliss.
You might be thinking right now that I'm Davinder's PR agent but as well as the counselling, yoga, meditation, Davinder also offers on advice on super foods and lots of other things...check out her website if you're local:
http://www.yogaforall-maidenhead.co.uk
So a great morning, one where I hoped the exercise was going to really help with the mind and body connection but also do good for the cording and stretching out my recently relocated pec muscle! Returning home, I felt exhausted but a good exhausted. DW was at the gym when I got home so I was able to nap and have some couch potato time for the rest of the afternoon.
That evening the Chez Wright-Deadman residents were making us a celebratory supper! So a light lunch was needed. I also hadn't been food shopping so it was a case of working with what was in the kitchen....so here it is!
Photo no.525 - bruschetta...red and golden tomatoes, sour dough rubbed with a clove of garlic, spring onion, a couple of sprigs of greek basil and drizzle of balsamic vinegar...not bad! : )
Just over 6 months ago, on a gloomy February evening, the girls at Ivy Crescent cooked supper for a somewhat shellshocked D & VW. This is something that I will forever cherish. To celebrate the good news of the pathology results it felt perfect to have a celebratory dinner with them both at the same table! So here's what was served.
Delia's chicken liver pate...sorry no pic! It was insanely delicious!
Then after a while! ; )
Photo no.526 - Kim's crab risotto with...
Photo no.527 - roasted garlic prawns
Photo no.528 - followed by a passionfruit syllabub....
Photo no.529 - and of course lest we forget some cheese!
A spectacular supper! Thanks chef Kim and sous chef Emily for a wonderful dinner! Love you guys!
Photo no.530 - one man, his cheese and a ginger cat called Marmaduke!
So surgical tales week 2, thank you for treating us pretty well! Good progress made...only one way to go. Up! xxx
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