Biopsy results time......what can I say. We were disappointed. 3 of the 5 lymph nodes taken had disease in them. Hmm. Breathe. What does this mean? Well actually it still means that I still need the course of chemo as planned, it just means that when I come to surgery the lymph nodes from that area will be whipped out. The good news is that they had been doing a blimin good job of protecting the rest of me from this b@st*rd disease. So overall it could have been better but could have been worse. Apparently pre 1999 all women with breast cancer had their lymph nodes removed so I'll cling onto this snippet. So not so good but not so bad news Friday. The main thing I kept saying to Daniel was that it was better this way around....i.e. better that it had not spread elsewhere (see good news friday! post) as these lymph nodes still count as primary cancer.
Feeling deflated we got in the car and headed up to London, as Daniel was heading back to work.
My next appointment of the day was with one of my dearest and oldest friends...the charming but somewhat clumsy Eoin Harty. ; ) Eoin makes me laugh. It's always good to see him and get some 'Eoin loving'. Guess what? More baked goods....flapjacks! Nice! It was wonderful to see him and catch up properly even though the poor guy had had 1 hour of sleep as he'd worked the previous night. Hardcore Harty! I then had the pleasure of breaking Eoin's Harrods virginity, as he needed to get some headphones (£250 perhaps not!) and I was due there for my wig cut. Huge hug later and I set him off towards Sloane Square. I then headed up to go and meet Paul who was to give me my first wig cut. It was quite a surreal experience wearing the wig and having someone cut it. Paul was great as he's done this for many people for different reasons. He gave me a real boost when he said that he thought I was a real fighter and that this strength would pull me through the next few months. I hope he's right!!!
Feeling like a brave bean, I decided to keep my wig on and walk to Daniel's office. Only a 10 minute walk. But walking down Sloane Street I felt like all eyes were on me. Rationally at the same point I knew they weren't but I couldn't help feeling self conscious. It was fairly windy so it was a good test knowing that it wasn't going to fly off!!!
Daniel was waiting in the car for me. I apprehensively got in......big hug. Do you like my hair?!! Eeek!! It was a positive response. Phew! Sigh of relief.
So it feels appropriate to share photo no.35 with you - Wig cut!
That evening we had Kim, Rachel and Glenn coming over for pizza! More pizza I hear you say...yep! I decided to test the wig out on them....The door bell rang. Test no.1 the Regans! Huge hugs and anticipation.....Glenn thought I'd had a good haircut done. Rachel knew it was the wig but thought it looked fab. The reason for knowing was that it was more bouffant than normal. Good test so far. Now I just had to wait for Kim to arrive to see what she thought....hurry up...I want to get this off of my head!!! Thankfully it was another positive reaction and I was able to take it off! The wig itself isn't uncomfortable, just tight with a full head of hair...one that I would like to retain but we'll see.
It was also Maddie's first trip to a 'pizza restaurant'! She was a gem and is welcome anytime.
Another wonderful evening filled with love and laughter! Awesome!xxx
At the end of the evening, I reflected on the photo above. Sure it looked fine but it still didn't feel right and I felt deflated. Mmn what could I do to make this better?
Saturday 8th March
I had originally planned to use this day to cut my hair short in anticipation for what might/ is likely to be. However, with the wig in place it didn't feel right to have a complete makeover. So I decided to let things be. We ended up have a bimble day at home, which was wonderful. Then we headed up to London as we were meeting Rob and Ces for a posh curry! There was time for a quick scurry around a few shops on the Kings Road for some last minute pre chemo shopping. Someone had recommended cashmere socks for the chemo session as I might be cold from wearing the cold cap...harder to find than you might think this time of year! Thankfully the White Company came up trumps plus 20% off..result!
Thinking about the wig, I called Urban Retreat to book in for a wig wash and dry. Perhaps if it was styled differently I would feel better. Appointment booked for the next day. Good.
We headed up to Regent Street to Veearswamy for our dinner date. Exciting!
Photo no.36 - lush cocktail with Ces....guava and passionfruit mojito...yes please!
What can I tell you about Rob and Ces Hamilton? They are truly the most wonderful and caring people we know. It was a complete joy to see them get married in 2010, particularly as Rob's been in love with Ces since he was 15! They've supported us in so many ways over the past few years, from hosting our pre wedding dinner, to enjoying many raclette evenings, spending lazy days on the slipper launch and of course listening to Mr Elton John. We really cherish you guys being part of our lives and look forward to many more fun times! xxx
So needless to say we had a fab dinner and a musical car journey home!
Sunday 9th March
Heigh ho, it's off to Harrods I go, with my wig in tow, heigh ho, heigh ho, heigh ho!
Wig wash & style time....here it is!
Photo no.37 - Wig wash - step 1: Wash!
Photo no.38 - Wig wash - step 2: Brush!
Photo no.39 - Wig wash - step 3: Dry!
Wig wash - step 4: Style with straighteners - no pic available!
Photo no.40 - Wig wash - step 5 (optional): have a hug with the most amazing Neelum from Vicki Ullah wig boudoir!
Photo no.41 - Picnic in the park - first time of eating with the wig on!
The weather was incredible this day and Hyde Park was full of fellow picnic-ers! We headed home and were greeted by Daniel's parents. Time to light the BBQ!!! It was great to have other people in the house that night, so there was less time to talk/ dwell about the next day would hold. I felt strangle calm about the following day's activity, accepting there is little choice in the situation and focussing on to keep doing what you're told. Life pre chemo over. A new chapter was about to open.
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