Well hello clear mind! Yep, that's right the chemo fog had lifted and I felt like a million dollars! Plus, finally a cup of tea (albeit decaf) tasted good...bingo! Now you need to listen to Zadok the Priest by Handel....and you'll get the feeling of euphoria that I felt! The introduction feels like the middle of chemo week that build up of hope that something will happen and the fog will clear, it then changes to a minor key (black friday) but then it comes back and bam, I'm back!
I'm more than likely to repeat this analogy, so please forgive me. I don't have any grounds to base this on but the brain is amazing. Going into week 2, I reflected back on week 1 and thought ok, that wasn't too bad...I can do that again. Perhaps similar to child birth or any other kind of pain...guys remember the mammogram comparison (!), the human brain is incredible in the way that it keeps pushing you on. Of course I have flashbacks of the drugs going in but despite having to, I know I can do the next one.
Today was the day that I had mentally prepared to go back to work. Some felt that this might have been a bit early but now that my mind was back I needed to make that first step. Sure, I felt apprehensive but I knew it would be ok as soon as I got to my desk. Daniel and I had discussed it the day before and concluded to start with afternoons as that meant if I was tired in the morning, there wasn't any pressure to get up for a certain time.
So 1.30pm arrived and the following happened:
Key - ignition - radio - Clean Bandit - good - reverse - drive....you're off!
Wow Waitose Home BU, what a welcome back! Thank you all so much for your love and support and for listening to my story. You're an amazing bunch of people and coming in to see you all, keeps spurring me on. I spent the afternoon talking, and boy can I talk. It was only a couple of days later that Nicky F mentioned how fragile she thought I seemed. By the time I got to talk to her I was feeling tired, as I had made my way through most of the office so I guess not so surprising.
I was then treated to lemonade and a song of the day...Happy People - R Kelly by Lee. It's sure to make you smile. Helen was there to keep him in check! ; )
I'm more than likely to repeat this analogy, so please forgive me. I don't have any grounds to base this on but the brain is amazing. Going into week 2, I reflected back on week 1 and thought ok, that wasn't too bad...I can do that again. Perhaps similar to child birth or any other kind of pain...guys remember the mammogram comparison (!), the human brain is incredible in the way that it keeps pushing you on. Of course I have flashbacks of the drugs going in but despite having to, I know I can do the next one.
Today was the day that I had mentally prepared to go back to work. Some felt that this might have been a bit early but now that my mind was back I needed to make that first step. Sure, I felt apprehensive but I knew it would be ok as soon as I got to my desk. Daniel and I had discussed it the day before and concluded to start with afternoons as that meant if I was tired in the morning, there wasn't any pressure to get up for a certain time.
So 1.30pm arrived and the following happened:
Key - ignition - radio - Clean Bandit - good - reverse - drive....you're off!
Wow Waitose Home BU, what a welcome back! Thank you all so much for your love and support and for listening to my story. You're an amazing bunch of people and coming in to see you all, keeps spurring me on. I spent the afternoon talking, and boy can I talk. It was only a couple of days later that Nicky F mentioned how fragile she thought I seemed. By the time I got to talk to her I was feeling tired, as I had made my way through most of the office so I guess not so surprising.
I was then treated to lemonade and a song of the day...Happy People - R Kelly by Lee. It's sure to make you smile. Helen was there to keep him in check! ; )
17.00 - time to go! My head was hurting so I popped some paracetamol and waited for that to kick in and headed home.
Despite feeling tired I was elated as I had made it in, the laptop even got switched on and some emails were done. Not a bad first start.
I'm really appreciating the little things at the moment and photo no.50 really captures this. The green of these hyacinths was captivating - the photo doesn't really do them justice.
Photo no.50 - glorious green...hyacinths pre bloom.
Photo no.51 - sofa time with Snoopy (yes, Daniel I know he's yours!).
I have also been thinking about the chemo...purpose number one is to kills those mean b*ggars of cancer cells but I'm viewing it as a system reset (hair included...sniff, sniff), it's just there's not a simple on/off button, as most good IT help desks will tell you!
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