Something we all hope we are never to going to say is that we're going to meet our oncologist..sadly today was the day that we met mine. Dr Davis was great. She talked me simply through the overall chemo plan, going through the different phases of each cycle. The cherry on the cake....my drug is called FEC! Yep, that's right as in FEC off or to bring another smile the wonderfully animated Father Jack! Potentially his more famous phrase being 'drink', something that will also no doubt be required!!! So FEC it was. I've been really good at not looking at anything on the internet...not even really accessing any 'safe' websites such as breast cancer care/ McMillan. However, this evening I accessed breast cancer care to understand the parameters of this drug in regards to how commonly used it is etc. Another positive...FEC is like the paracetamol of the breast cancer chemo world...phew...commonly used to treat this disease, so more is known and understood regarding side effects etc. Breathe. Relief.
What happened next felt like I had been smacked in my face. Quick intro through - there are many people who are going to get me through this and I truly treasure all of your roles...one of the most significant players in team V, was introduced to us on Friday 21st February. That person is Jane O'Donnell who along with the other Jane (makes life very simple!) has made me feel so human and supported through consultant appointments, holding my hand in theatre and generally helping me through my little thing phobia's to make the big things more bearable. You are truly amazing and I am so grateful for having you with me on this journey so far.
Back in the room - we wrapped up the appointment/ meeting with Dr Davis and Jane announced we were heading up to the chemo ward....I'm sorry...we're doing what now? Out of Wonderland and giant face slap, wake up we're going upstairs. As I've previously mentioned, the sick thing about this disease is not feeling ill so this moment brought me tumbling down into reality. It's not that I hadn't understood the diagnosis, the endless blood tests/ scans...I guess being honest it just hadn't felt real. Whereas for those around me it had felt very real from 4th February. I know that as soon as the medical side kicked in, it would be a very loud and proud wake up call and here it was on the afternoon of 24th February.
One thing I forgot to write on good news Friday was the treatment plan. So here it is as I know of it...sentinel node biopsy, 6 sessions of chemotherapy (fingers crossed/ touch wood), mastectomy (my boob to lump ratio is quite high as my boobs are small!), radiotherapy and last but not least reconstruction of the boob. The reconstruction may take place at the same time as the mastectomy but that's something to be decided further along the road.
We followed Jane up the stairs and walked into a lounge type area, with machines ready to be hooked up to drips and what I can only describe as old people chairs. You know, the upholstered recline type chairs...navy. This is where you'll have your treatment...pardon..what..in a room with other people...are you serious? No, no way...ah ok there is an option of a private room...ok bite my lip don't say anything and just digest. We walked up to a line of what looked like really old fashioned swimming caps...each with a different colour on top of them. Right...lets measure you up for your cold cap. Cold cap therapy works by freezing your hair follicles, with the aim of helping to reduce/ prevent the chance of hair loss. FEC is one of the treatments with a very high chance of hair loss Smallish head lets try the red one....mmn ok perhaps too small....lets try the blue one. Good fit! Ok, so I'm a blue. Brilliant...
Following my fitting we went into a consulting room for pre operation checks for the sentinel node biopsy. The reason for this biopsy was to understand if the disease had spread into the lymph nodes. The previous needle biopsy had come back clear but my consultant was still concerned from what she could see in the scans. There were a couple of reasons for being scared of this biopsy....first cannula in my hand, first general anaesthetic since I was two and understanding how I would react to these and the actual operation itself. The practical points as well....no underarm shaving/ deodorant on that side for 4 weeks after the operation....4 weeks....no way!!! If they had told me this on good news Friday, I could have cultivated some hair and had a wax! Not to be I guess. The other challenge was having to wear a sports bra 24/7 for 4 weeks as well. This is a challenge one to fit me as not all places stock them in my size..again could we have talked about this on Friday?! Nevermind, some more obstacles for the overall bigger challenge. Not forgetting I must say there was a Scottish angel who took a blood test for and she will definitely be on my recommend list, as I didn't feel a thing.
Leaving hospital that evening, we were both feeling shellshocked. Daniel from the meeting with the oncologist and me from the pre op/ cold cap fitting. This is really happening...no more scans and chats...showtime was about to begin. In this situation, there was only one thing to do......Zumba!!! I love Zumba. It's an hour of dancing, sweating and laughing. It's simply a great hour to 'forget your troubles come on get happy'. Music is extremely important to me and is one of the things in life that really affects my emotions to either end of the spectrum...as part of Annet's current mix for Zumba there is Shakira's Afrika, which I love and always picks me up and is a great positive message and towards the end there is a beautiful Waltz, which really got me on this occasion, as I can imagine dancing to it with Daniel in a floaty ball dress...maybe that will happen one day! ; )
Photo no.12 - post Zumba shot!
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